taking out the tumor...

"Doing the right thing is never easy. The hardest thing to do in this world is the right thing..." -- Michael Caine (in the movie, "The Weatherman" )

We are all defined by the choices we make...your life is a result of your decisions, the path you chose and will choose to take...life is all about choices...happiness is a choice, so is misery...

We can always choose to be happy...but it's not that easy.

Just when you think you know yourself...you come across something that shakes you...scares you a bit...and it changes you...forever...you're not the same person anymore.

You try to resist it, ignore it, deny it... too late...like paint, it stains you and there's no escaping it. It's now part of you and it somehow, defines you. Most of the time it hurts you. It causes you too much pain that you cannot breathe.

It's what I call the "menthol effect"...burning your chest, it stays there...the harder you try to rub it off, the more it scorches...

It won't go away...so you accept it...you let it stay...until you're numbed by it.

Everyday, you know it's there...like a tumor that will eventually spread throughout your body...until it consumes you...

No one has a cure...

The tumor is so malignant you taste how toxic it is...

then you play doctor...you try to remove it...you're on remission...
even then it leaves a scar...that won't easily heal...
on a cold day you feel a shooting pain...
that reminds you of this ache that now defines the new you.

and then you realize...

...sometimes what you think is right is just something that makes you feel good...and just because something feels good, doesn't mean it's right...

and even when you finally recognize it's not right, you are not always equipped with a strong heart when you most need it...

choose to do right, choose to do good...admittedly, doing the right thing is never the easiest route...

and that's when you know you should do it... because it's the most difficult thing...you can't breathe...

you must take out the tumor so your body can function right again...

but the scar...ah yes, the scar...it will always be there...to remind you of what you had and what you were strong enough to remove and live without...

a reminder that you chose to do right and live your life the way you want it lived.

slowly, you remember how it is to breathe again...