hush...

"it's how you wanted it to be...
it's like you played a joke on me...

and i lost a friend in the end...
but i don't blame you anymore,

that's too much pain to store,
you left me half dead

inside my head...
looking back i see

i'm not the girl i used to be,
when i lost my mind,

it saved my life..."

- light years, mozella

Some things are better left unsaid.

Let it just die a natural death...and bury it

where no one can ever find it.

you dare not say a word that even sounds like it...

it just gives it life that way...it becomes real.

you try to convince yourself that it didn't actually happen...

that it doesn't actually exist.

that you must've gotten it from a movie.

that you must have heard it from a friend.

it's not real.

you try to trivialize it...like it's no big deal.

you tell yourself to leave it...even if it calls your name.

you treat it like a monster under your bed.

you do everything to get it out of your head.

you tell yourself it's not true, but it scares the heck out of you.

the key is to not say it...because when you do, you believe it.

sometimes it will do everything to trick you into saying it...

trick you into believing, again, that it is the truth.

and that there's no escaping it.

you cup your ears, you shut your eyes ever so tightly..

and hum a tune...to drown it out.

you tell yourself you're better than this.

you won't be bullied.

by some memory of something

that you tell yourself never really happened.

by some memory of someone

that you tell yourself never really existed.

whatever it is, whoever that was...

they were never really there.

that's the only truth you'll ever need to know...

and just like that...it's done...

because you say so.