taking off...

"I reached for him, for some sign, for something, as he was walking out the door...he never stopped walking...he never even slowed down..." - Good in Bed, Jennifer Weiner

(taking off - this phrase can only be good, for some people that is, if it were followed by the word “clothes”…and cool if it were preceded by the words “plane” and “career”.)

when used to mean "to go", "to leave"..."to escape"...
"to run away from"
to try and never return...
to abandon...

"i'm taking off now..."
you don't know why, but you realize how.

taking off.

let's dissect it for a bit.

"taking" - not giving.
"off" - not on.
focused on getting...
a devious and very subtle con.

putting them together is schemingly clever...
a cross between the now and the never...

you don't hear "goodbye", you don't hear "so long" ...
you hear "good riddance" ..."i'm outta here"...
simply put, it just sounds wrong.

it's not even a farewell...
and you can always tell...

the silent damage... the subtle emptiness...
you see it coming...hear what it says...
you feel no more...you feel no less...
you crave to finally escape this mess...

the quiet disturbance
of a fleeting glance
of one last dance...
no one stands a chance.

is it easier to say it?
easier than "i'll be back soon" ?
that would be too much promise,
too much commitment...too much too soon...

too much of a compromise...too much of a touch...
too much trouble...
just plain...too much.

it is also too much to take...
too much to bear...
too much at stake...
just plain...not fair.

it picks at you...your bits and pieces
you try to survive the little hits and misses...

but you wait for the tide to subside...
and realize that there's a much better ride...
waiting for you to get off the wrong plane, bus or train...
you take a new trip...to try and forget the pain...

and after all that's said and done...
you can tell yourself you've won...
because no matter how much they mock or scoff...
finally...you're the one... taking off...