version of you
"he has an idea of you in his head. it doesn't matter if it's true. it makes him happy believing that idea about you..." - from the movie that started so well, but ended quite poorly, American Dreamz...
People have different ideas of you in their heads.
one they want to believe.
one they can handle...
one that's convenient to conceive.
good or bad, nice or not...
you have no control over it.
an idea of you. a half-truth. a semi-made up thought.
for whatever purpose, whatever reason.
it's just a blurry impression.
not your identity, not your intention.
vague made definite.
fantasy made real.
they believe they know how you really feel.
from the little that they've heard...
the little that they've seen.
they create someone...
from somewhere you've never been...
the someone they're familiar with in their heads by far.
a someone not even remotely close to who you really are.
it's their right.
and it's alright.
you're not opening your doors completely.
not letting them in at all...
just giving them a peek...a glimpse...
of what could be and could've been...
it will always be your call..
they squint into a peephole to get a sample of you.
yet they'll never really get it...
not one bit...
not one clue...
somehow that's the way you actually want it.
you feel safer when you sieve.
protected when you filter.
not everyone gets through.
only the ones you allow...
to really experience you.
you don't have to worry about those who want more than you can give...
those who have everything to say about what you do, how you live.
Don't give it another thought.
they can never really get you...
even when they really try...
and pretend they know what's true...
all they'll ever know is just an idea, a thought, an impression...
just a version of you...
People have different ideas of you in their heads.one they want to believe.
one they can handle...
one that's convenient to conceive.
good or bad, nice or not...
you have no control over it.
an idea of you. a half-truth. a semi-made up thought.
for whatever purpose, whatever reason.
it's just a blurry impression.
not your identity, not your intention.
vague made definite.
fantasy made real.
they believe they know how you really feel.
from the little that they've heard...
the little that they've seen.
they create someone...
from somewhere you've never been...
the someone they're familiar with in their heads by far.
a someone not even remotely close to who you really are.
it's their right.
and it's alright.
you're not opening your doors completely.
not letting them in at all...
just giving them a peek...a glimpse...
of what could be and could've been...
it will always be your call..
they squint into a peephole to get a sample of you.
yet they'll never really get it...
not one bit...
not one clue...
somehow that's the way you actually want it.
you feel safer when you sieve.
protected when you filter.
not everyone gets through.
only the ones you allow...
to really experience you.
you don't have to worry about those who want more than you can give...
those who have everything to say about what you do, how you live.
Don't give it another thought.
they can never really get you...
even when they really try...
and pretend they know what's true...
all they'll ever know is just an idea, a thought, an impression...
just a version of you...
posted by kelly at Tuesday, August 22, 2006
6 Comments:
AD LUCRANDUM VEL PERDENDUM
(For Gain or Loss)
Have you ever been attracted to someone you have never met? It’s one of those inexplicable behaviors of the heart.
I have never met her. All I have is a voice, a perceived disposition, an apparent and perceptible kindness.
A vegetarian who loves tomatoes and possibly garlic. Who’s into yoga and can make like a pretzel (nice:))
One who is afraid of clowns, bites on Tuesdays, and can spell on T-H-U-R-S-D-A-Y-S.
And who I think would rather see money burn than see a dog maltreated or good coffee go to waste.
Whose writings reveal an amazingly complicated mind but who has the simplest of aspirations...to smile at life.
This is how I understand you to be.
I have never met you.
All I know are these things. A distinctly sweet voice, a kind heart, a mind that I would just love to dissect.
I have never met you.
And yet this is how I feel. In a trance every single Kelly minute. Mesmerized even by just the mention of your name. Captivated by the mere thought of you.
I wish to discover more. Maybe even star in your movie. I wish to say your name not just twice but ten times. And allow you to redefine all the words in my vocabulary.
But to avoid the risk of being irksome (and also of suffering the loss of anonymity), my mind takes control as my heart submits and accepts reality.
These are just wishes...
A wish to be in your movie...
(But I’m not a movie star)
A wish to say your name ten times...
(But I can do so only to myself)
A wish to discover more...
(But the discovery will always be from a distance)
Because fact is to me you are unreachable.
And what I have is simply just wishful thinking.
BUT
Thank you Kelly...
For my mortality...
For my wishes...
For being always on my mind.
I will forever be one of many whom you have touched so profoundly.
Even if my image of you is just based on my own perception.
P.S.
I love the song Waiting for a Star to Fall.
But in my case, it’s wishing, hoping, nay, dreaming for a star to fall :)
Take care always
By the way, don’t call me sir, wrong gender honey :)
hey there 10,
once again, i am wowed by your comment...by virtue of your words, i must say you are definitely something...the good kind, that is...
sorry if i was wrong in calling you "sir"...it was just an assumption, so sorry...yet thank you for the bit, one small information i now know about you...don't worry, i won't ask or pry anymore...hee hee...i know how important the anonimity issue is for you because it is for me too...
thank you for your kind words yet again...i shall always be grateful for people like you who make me smile to no end...
i am not one to divulge too much about me, only the essentials, the significant bits and pieces of me that i wish to share...and although it is impossible for some things to actually happen, for some wishes to be realized...i just hope for one thing...
that whatever happens, whoever anybody turns out to be...i hope i do or say something right...something they may not taste or see...but something they can take with them...even just a bit of me...
if i can spread happiness all around i would, but i can only do so much...my radio show is one of my ways of reaching out...and getting amazing messages make me realize i might actually be doing something right...
be good to yourself for always 10, like i keep saying, i'm a big fan of life, and good souls like you make it brighter and make it more colorful...again, thank you! :)
always,always...
kelly =)
that was beautiful and absolutely true... add me up in ur multiply and friendster!
ey lucifer aka paul :) thank you! :) yep send me an invite and i'll surely add you up sweetie:)
hey kelly!
great post here! love it. love it! have a good one. tell joey i said hi. hee! ^_^
hi kelly.
thank you for thinking i am of the good kind...although i'm not so sure what you mean, but thank you.
about the 'sir' thing, don't apologize. my fault entirely.
i find it unfair that i get to read a lot about you, i get to hear you almost everyday and yet remain anonymous, so sorry about that.to even it a bit, let me say that i'm still below 30, and i'm afraid of dogs and the goldilocks mascot, hahaha.also, don't worry, i don't kill animals for fun...or people hehehe.
lastly, thanks again. you don't need to hear this but you are doing something right.i'm living proof of that, you make me smile each time.if you have time, i posted something for you in my blog.
thanks and good luck.
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